Bitter Sweet Mothers Day

Mothers Day has always been a touchy thing for me. My mother passed away the day before mothers day in 2001 from breast cancer so since then mothers day has meant more than just gifts and brunch with the moms in the family on the second Sunday in may.

Everyday but particularly mothers day reminds me of the important role mothers play in our lives and how many people take their moms for granted every other day besides mothers day.

The one who calms you when you're upset, who cheers you on just when you feel you can't make it, who picks you up when you fall, who cleans your wounds and kisses them and makes it feel all better. The spirit so gentle that when you lie on her chest you fall into a sweet sleep. The embrace so warm that you never want her to let go.

Whether its your biological mother or women who stepped in for her when she was gone we all have this woman or women in our lives.

Lucky for me I've had an abundance of women both family, moms friends, godparents , and moms of friends who have had some sort of significant impact in my life as a mother figure.

As mothers day comes around I wanted to thank all of the women who have stuck around to ensure that the values I was taught by my mom flourished and continued to teach me more values that would carry me throughout my lifetime. 

Why is it bitter sweet? Well this is my first mothers day as a mother and the my mom isn't here to share it with me. While I feel her spirit with me everyday that warm embrace is something I would always rather. 

So if mothers day was just another day for you before be sure to give the mothers and mother figures in your life a special thank you and some extra love!

To all my mommy's that I've been blessed with thank you for teaching me how to not just be a mom but a good mother to my son. You've taught me how to heal his wounds how to discipline him and how to ensure he obtains life lessons and values that will carry him through to the end of time.

Thank You ... Mom
Cindy Thompson
Maria Morgan
Marsha Lambert
Janet Thompson
Richa Sands
Lisa McCartney
Abbie (Alvater) Carey
Pamela McCartney
Chakita Archer

Phyllis Garraway 

 

5 Tips to Produce More Breast Milk

Hello new moms and moms to be! This one was a special request and I knew a lot of "US" have or had this problem. Producing breast milk! #newmommyproblems

I struggled with this the first few months after having my baby and after extensive research and trial and error here are my top 5 tips to producing more breast milk.

1. Drink LOTS of water (as I fill my 1.5 Ltr bottle)
- The first few weeks after having my baby I must admit I was terrible at this. I'm not a big water drinker as I think water is just so boring!! Finally with the help of my husband yelling at me to drink water every minute I increased my water intake and almost immediately noticed the difference in the amount of milk I was producing and at how many times a day my breast would "fill up".

2. Eat your meals ON TIME!
- Don't starve yourself! If you are anything like me you aren't even remembering to eat unless someone asks you. I was home with just me and baby and wasn't eating until my husband got home. When I started to eat proper meals and on time my milk ducts were happy and so was my baybay!!

3. Fenugreek Tea
- I swear by this herbal remedy. This seed is beneficial in many ways including reducing cholesterol and preventing colon cancer. However my favorite benefit is it helps the production of breast milk. They have this available as tea and in a pill form. I have heard that the pill form is more potent but I just used the tea and it worked wonders for me. There are also products on the market that have fenugreek in them like "Milky" by Tia and Tamera Mowry (Sister Sister) <--- Love those girls.

4. Relax!
- If you're stressed chances are your breast milk production is low. Sometimes you have to just sit in a quiet space and breath easy. You would be surprised at how much piece of mind will help your body.

5. SUPPLY AND DEMAND!
- Just remember these three words Supply and Demand. The more you pump or feed your little one the more milk your body will produce. You will notice after a while of breastfeeding that your breast fill up the same times when your baby is ready to eat. When your baby isn't eating pump as often as possible. Your baby will thank you for it!

Please remember I am in no way shape or form a pro and I am still learning as I go along. This is what worked for me but it may not necessarily work for you. Unfortunately there are some mothers whose bodies just wont allow the to breastfeed.

I hope these tips help someone out there! Leave your comments if they did or if you have more tips to add!

My thoughts on the Clippers and Racism

With the recent story about Donald Sterling (Clippers oplaguescist comments and the fire it has sparked on the topic on social media led me to write this blog. One of the reasons I started this blog was because my Facebook statuses don't allow the amount of words I need to say to get my point across sometimes.

I have seen so many people saying that the Clippers should have sit out the game, and that they are cowards. I think when stories like this come out we are so quick to judge, so quick to say "this is what they should have done".

Think about this and answer this question TRUTHFULLY!!!

If your boss made some racist comments would you quit right on the spot or would you do your job and get your paycheck until you found something else?

Truth is the majority of these basketball players play this game because of the love of the sport (the pay is just a really good bonus that comes with the job). These players work hard alllll yeeaaarrr looonggg in hopes to being named the Champions at the end of the season. If I were these players I would not sit out a game in the Playoffs and risk the chance of making it to the one place I've worked hard to get to all year either!! I think there point was made when they came out with their jerseys inside out and threw them on the ground.

While there is so much noise in the market remember THEY DID SOMETHING ... If I asked 10 people who had something to say about how they didn't do enough what they did about racism about 8 of them would say nothing.

Do not be mistaken. What Sterling said (if he really did say it because I don't think this was even confirmed yet) was definitely wrong and I do not agree with it one bit. There should be some serious repercussions if he did say this.

(A lot of people are going to disagree with what I have to say next)

Does Racism Truly Exist in the abundance that we think?

We have racism issues? Do we? Or are we enslaving ourselves?
Here are some examples that make me think black people are making themselves suffer racism in 2014:

1. We hear it all the times the "N" word which was so de-grating and terrible years ago is now thrown around all the time amongst black people (and some white) like its cool!! So we can call each other "N****" but someone of another race cant? Respect yourself before you expect it from someone else.

2. Its always because someone is black ... Like come on guys ... Every time someone doesn't get a high position at a large company  "because they were black".  UUmmmm ever thought maybe it was because someone else who just happened to be of another race was more qualified? :O of course not! That just cant be!! Whenever a black person is locked up it's "because they were black" ... sure orr maybe juusstt maybe they are in there because they committed a crime. When a black person walks into a store and someone doesn't offer them assistance "its because they were black" Really? How about you get over yourseld shop on your own and ASK if and when you need assistance. I personally rather not have help.

3. We have television channels and awards for black people like B.E.T and B.E.T awards. Imagine the hell that would break lose if there was a channel launched called White Entertainment Television?!?!?! Ohh noooo that would be racist.

Don't get me wrong Im not saying that in some cases this isn't true and that racism does not continue to follow some of us. Like theTrayvon Martin case (R.I.P) definitely racial profiling. But you have to admit this is the name we have made for ourselves as black people...We're the "tuff guys" our men don't hug because thats "gay", we don't share our feeling because that makes you vulnerable and weak....dont let your cloths actually fit you (rolls eyes).

I could go on all day about how we as black people make ourselves victim all the time but I have a baby to tend to.

I say all of that to say this before you say anthing think about what you would do, have done or are doing about it...

Getting Baby on a Schedule

After four long blissful months of being a new mom , I think I'm finally on my way to getting my sweet baby boy on a schedule. 

While I heard all the remedies to make this happen sooner like self soothing (there was no way I was doing that), having the same routine daily (yea.. in a perfect world) and just waiting for it to happen (sounds better), I knew I had to do this my way, a way that worked for my husband and I. So here is my journey to almost a full night of sleep. 

Month 1: Just forget about the routine thing this month in my opinion. Hey if you want to go ahead and try to keep a schedule with little to no sleep go right ahead. In month one I hardly had the energy or time to eat (when I remembered to and didn't sleep through the hunger). During this month I just flowed with baby. I would sleep or eat when he slept and took some time to myself when hubby got home. 

Month 2: I was close to insanity at this point. I was crying for just 3 hours of straight sleep. Month 2 was when I gave up on putting him to sleep in his crib and having to physically get up to feed him every 2 hours. He slept comfortably in my bed right next to me. (Say whatever you want ... he hasn't been suffocated and there was never a time that he was rolled on) Spoiled? How does one "spoil" a baby?? ....moving on ....When he would wake up for a feeding I would lay right there and position him to my chest and he would eat away while I drifted back to sleep. 

Month 3: It started getting better. This is when I started to try a "routine". This is also the month I went back to work ( still having separation anxiety).  Any who, I knew whatever routine I came up with would have to be something realistic with me going back to work. Kaiden had already set his own little routine for himself. I already knew that he would eat every 21/2 hours and that he would take a good 30 to 45 minute nap around 11am, 2pm, and 4pm everyday. So I just needed to figure out what happens when I get home from work around 6pm. So we decided that his bedtime routine was all we really needed to work out. That turned out being pretty easy, every evening at 7:30pm we give him a good bath, feed him and he his down by 8:15pm the latest. 

Month 4: We are doing pretty well with his bedtime ritual and he seems to now understand that once these things happen its time to go to sleep. He is only waking up about once at night now (2:30am) and his doctor just ordered that he can now skip this early morning snack to start sleeping through the night (looking forward to that). 

To all you new moms out there don't let people pressure you about getting your baby on a schedule. Do what works for you and your family and take your time!!! Also remember that every baby is different so what worked for your friend, mom, aunt or cousin wont necessarily work for you. Don't rush the process. After all when you look at that little sweet face who cares about sleep?  JK you will NEVER NOT care about sleep. 

>Follow Me on Instagram for more photos of me daily runs ins :) @VanzBlogz <   

Bye bye baby weight : No more excuses

After weeks of procrastination and giving myself reasons why I couldn't start working out I finally bit the bullet and got started.

Starting is always the hardest part but I knew I had to just get up and go for it... well that and my husband is a fitness trainer and wouldn't get off my back. The first thing I had to was take all my excuses and throw them in the trash .... make them a distant memory.

So I went through my excuses one by one and gave myself resolutions:

1. I want to go walking but I don't have a stroller yet.
That one was a easy fix. I strapped  my baby on my chest and we got some fresh air together.

2. I cant go to the gym... who's going to watch the baby?
My husband helped me solve that one. He brought the gym home and gave me a  bunch of exercises to do while Kaiden is asleep.... he's even my weights sometimes. 

3. I'm soooo tired....
This is very true I'm exhausted when I get home from work .... but a girls gatta do what a girls gatta do and if I want to reach my goal of -50lbs I'm going to have to work out a schedule to make sure I get the rest I need. Maybe go to sleep earlier. 

Well there you have it ... I now have solutions to every reason why I couldn't work out. Now all I have to do is keep the momentum going.... (yea that's all :| )

Wish me luck...

Why do we watch Reality Shows?

The actual "Reality" of Reality shows continues to be debated, and reasons to believe that they are actually the furthest thing from reality continue to pop up. With the recent "leak" of Mimi Faust's from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta sex tape it got me to thinking again....

First of all how convenient that this sex tape was "leaked" just as they began showing trailers for the new season of Love & Hip Hip Atlanta. Come on am I really suppose to believe that this is just a coincidence? (What these people do for publicity and money is another blog post in itself, because I have lost complete respect for Mimi as a mother).

Anyways then theres the weird convenience of the cameras always being where they need to be when someone visits someone else "unannounced". Like how did they camera person know the pan to right when Draya and her boyfriend dropped by the same restaurant that Jackie and her daughter were?

Needless to say I am an avid Reality show watcher, and I continue to ask myself "Why in the world do I watch these things?"

Well for one in my real life I don't do drama so I think I live vicariously through these characters/ grown women who don't know how to act. (that is also another blog)

I also watch them because I think I enjoy analyzing what is scripted from whats not, whats instigated and whats not, what exaggerated and whats not.

Reality shows are also my "what not to do" rule book. Because these women be lookin crraaazzzyyy!!

Last but not least this stuff is very entertaining, wether its real or not real. 

I've seen people say ... "Why do you watch that its so demeaning to women" heres my take .... 
No one can "demean" you but yourself .. these are grown women of sound mind (I think) and if they choose to jump over tables, make sex tapes, use curse words and fight one another thats all on them. No one is holding a gun to their heads juussst a camera!! 

So no that I've shared why I watch these "Reality" Shows what are some reasons you watch them? If you have any reason at all... 

Guest Blogger : Anni's Bubble "Pre-parent and Parenting"

Pre-parent and Parenting

Before becoming a mother, I was the biggest judge of every mother I came in contact with, not to worry, fathers got judged as well.  From what they fed their kids to how they dressed their kids, I always had something to say. “When I have my kid, I will never…”, and then I became a parent.

Preparent, it is easy to think that no one is doing the right thing until you are actually placed in the situation and given a child that is solely dependent on you. No vacations, no opportunities to be tired, no time outs, nothing. From the day I discovered I was with child, I began researching everything about parenting, raising kids and even how life changes after becoming a parent. Despite the endless reading, researching, youtubing and webinars, I am still a work in progress and that is just okay.

Over the weekend, I ran across a book called the Instructional Guide to Parenting, it took just about every fiber of my being to stop me from purchasing the book. I thought, this is exactly what I need to be a better parent. As I slowly walked away from the book, I began to think on what makes a good parent.  I spent half the day thinking about this and took it a little further and did more research (no surprise there). One of the funniest things I discovered, there are over a billion other persons googling the exact same thing. I am NOT alone!

After a series of blog posts, websites and parenting forums later, one thing is common: The key to being a successful parent is doing that which works best for you and your family. There is no guide to being the best parent, no rules to follow that will make your kids love you more, no answers to ensuring that you have the best kid in the universe, it is a simple process of making your life with your kids the best for your individual situations.

• Ensure that your child/children are safe. Are they clothed, fed and sheltered? You are half way there… the most important role of a parent is to ensure that the well being of their kids are a priority. Designer onesies, stylish diaper bags nor organic food will make you a better parent (although they are a nice treat).
• Live a good life. Do good to others and your kids will do the same. Kids mimic what they see, the bad and the good. Experience has taught me that the best way to show my daughter how I want her to behave is by doing what I want her to do.
• Challenge yourself. Feeling in a rut about the way you parent? Want to up it up a notch? Try something new, learn a new recipe that incorporates your kids favorite foods, try a spring project that is kid friendly, or simply visit some place new (not forgetting to take the kids along) ! Everything takes time, work on making you the parent you want to be.

Not the advice you expected, is it? The thing is, parenting is fun, it is an experience like none other and is experienced in a different way by each person. It takes time to learn what works for you but when you get it, I guarantee you will be a hit! My daughter is two going on twenty and every day I learn something new about her. Today she loves me tomorrow she does not want to see my face, and that is okay!

The successful parent is the one that works on being the best them.

Join me for more parenting fun at Anni’s Bubble, a mommy blog by Bahamian mom, marketing manager and social butterfly, Keiani Worrell. Your latest in DIY, craft ideas, recipes and all things fun!

Xoxo, Anni